Tony Cecil

I'm 9'6" tall. I weigh 145 lbs. I'm constantly falling all over the place. If i go outside a 5mph wind blows me over and it takes me at least 20 minutes to get back upright. Every lawnmower is too short for me. I'm developing a slight hump in my back. I call my hump Jocelyn.

I live in a place that's 3 miles south of...(fill in the blank) I enjoy zombie slayer, but sitting down i'm still well over 8 feet tall. I use two laptop tables to get it to my eyesight. It's a constant balancing act. Especially when i get mad and toss one of them across the room. Despite my weight, my biceps are 23.5 inches. My legs are frail though. I have trouble wiping after a bowel movement so my caretaker has to do it for me. She always gives me shit afterwards. No pun intended.

In summation: This game saves me the embarrassment of going outside and enduring the countless "gawkers" who want my autograph or a picture with me and my size 39 shoes. So thank you, Kano for creating such a wonderful distraction..It has literally saved my life...Although tending to the blisters on my ass from sitting so much has become quite a problem I do consider it a more than fair trade.