Ok, I love the systems currently in place. I really do. But I feel there is one KEY thing missing from this entire game. A Story. I would be entirely happy to write a Story for this game, one that leads people on in this Adventure, Crushing their enemies and Obliterating Bosses. A lot of MMO games such as this one have either brief or verbose stories for their games, and I think that's the only key thing missing. All we're doing is just clicking, we're not immersed in the world. If the creators of this game don't mind, I'd be happy to send a few example scripts and story boards for boss fights or even the Primary story - I'm well versed in Norse Mythology as well as History if that's the preferred method of script.
Story Board will be nice to have in the games. Not sure if the developers will allow it but i gave you a 10. Also if you want to send in your suggestion of helping them please feel free to contact them at http://www.kanoapps.com/support
Wow... a lot of people liked my idea. I sent a message in to them with the idea, and I think I'll write a short story and post it here. So "watch" this forum post for the story I come up with if you want to read it.
SET UP: Story board appears in a collapsible menu ABOVE the boss picture. One click closes the story for those who don’t want to read it. NIDHOGG BATTLE START: Day breaks over the crest of a low rising hill of charred black grass and soil, trees broken and twisted from the rot left behind in some great beasts wake. The signs all point towards your prey’s resting place. Rising from your own makeshift bed, you push open the flaps of your tent and stretch out your muscles. The ache of rocks, pressing in to your back from the ground where you slept, tells you this is no dream – you’re truly here to face down a monster of myth and legend, the great Wyrm Nidhogg whom usually roosts in the roots of Yggdrasil. No longer feeding on corpses thrown in to the pit of Nastrond in Niflheim, the great Dragon has risen to Midgard to chase the Great Golden Eagle that roosts in Yggdrasil’s canopy. With this information in your mind, your eyes gaze out over the millions of soldiers collected in the valley of Nastrond’s mountains. Hundreds of Clan Chiefs pulled their soldiers together in one of the few times that no feuds were allowed, when a greater threat to the land was aroused and few threats could match such a beast as the Nidhogg risen. Marching across the valley to the main command tent, where all Chief’s meet and stand as equals, you pull open the tent to find your allies already awake and drawing maps across a large oak table hewn from the nearby forest where green still clung to trees desperately. Nearly an hour passes since your arrival, and the meeting begins to describe the attack. Arguments arise, and each Chief claims to have better tactics, more men, one man even claims to have weapons sharper than your mother’s tongue, and you rise swiftly with a fist pounding on the table. But just as your mouth opens to riposte, the tent flaps open and a man of great size forces his way past the guards and inside. He towered over most at six and a half feet, with rippling muscles pushing through the reindeer hide leather armor he wore across his chest. A massive great sword slung across his back swung out swiftly, stirring the soil brown hair on his head, before cleaving the meeting table in half. The sword was left there as the man marched confidently around all of you. “Bickering, as always the lot of you.” His voice rang out like a dragon roaring in anger, deep and bellowing as he continued. “I see many great Chief’s of this grand land, but none of you are King’s. You command vast armies of Berserker’s, yet your bickering is all hot air. Today you fight for a common goal, the destruction of that dragon – and yet here you are with no focus!” he paused and scratched his stubble near the right of his chiseled jaw line. “My name is Arngrim, that sword is the Dragon Slayer, I come today to lead your armies with or without you.” No chief spoke after hearing the name, Arngrim, Slayer of two King’s and the Dreaded Dragon Blood Bane that swallowed one of the four great treasures. As the man stood waiting for a response, you stand swiftly. Your right hand lifts and you spit in to it before offering your hand to Arngrim, “My clan follows your blade King Slayer.” As he takes your hand, you feel the raw power in his grip surging along your nerves as the bones in your fingers grind against each other with the sinew of your muscles clutched between them. One by one, the other Chief’s follow your lead, and when all is said and done, everyone leaves to rally the armies with Arngrim at it’s head calling for the Charge to battle. FIRST ATTACK: As your army crests the charred hill of Nastrond’s valley, a massive dragon cloaked in red scales sits amongst millions of corpses. It’s long tongue licks across the blooded bodies and the claws on its forelegs. It pays no heed to your army at first, grooming its talons that stand twenty men high and seem as sharp as a steel sword fresh from the blacksmiths stone. The beasts form uncoils slowly in to a languid stretch that raises its flanks and shoulders twice as high as the nearest mighty pine. Slowly from its back rise wings as red as blood that block out the morning sun. A wide yawn stretches over the dragon’s long snout and a bloom of crimson and orange flames shoot out from it’s wide jaws. Before any can call for the charge, the behemoth lizards tail sweeps out so quickly that the front lines of your massive army is obliterated by a massive scythe like bone jutting out of the tip of that tail. Arngrim rises up from the initial sweep, as if he saw that attack coming, and raises his massive great sword. With a sound once more like a roaring dragon, he yells at the top of his lungs, “CHARGE!” That single word spurs your armies grand rush forward. A wave of armed soldiers charges one of the great Wyrm’s of legend with no fear in their eyes. Nidhogg swishes its tail wildly, knocking many down, cleaving more in half with that tail tipped scythe – but it’s most dangerous weapon came only after it’s bulk turned like lightning. Flames roared from it’s muzzle, crackling with the sickening sound of burning flesh and screams that followed suit. More than a thousand soldiers dropped in the greatest death possible, one of battle with a beast from the bowels of Neflihime. Even with the fresh corpses and burning bodies on the ground, your army charges over the gore and blood, through the flames and smoke to crash in to the swift moving creatures forelegs, hind legs, and even at its soft belly. It’s talons rake through your forces as a plow through soft soil, while more axes and swords bash against scales harder than any stone found on Midgard’s soil. 75% HEALTH: Arngrim’s sword seems to be the greatest threat to the Nidhogg’s life. The edge cuts through scales and rends the soft flesh beneath those great plates of armor. The animals blood spews across the ground, burning the soil with poisonous fumes. But Arngrim seems unfazed, his attacks grow only more fierce with every swing of his sword. The great blade soaked in the brackish blood of the dragon’s life. It seems as well, that every swing the great Berserker makes, your army grows in ferocity as if driven by Arngrim’s blood rage. Their attacks seem to dent the scales, eventually breaking through them and soon chipping away at the exposed flesh. Bleeding the dragon dry may be the only way to kill it, as the serpentine neck always evades Arngrim’s great blade. More flames lick across the beasts lips and spit free to tear across the land and char your forces to ash. Archers remain at the back, loosing arrows through the sky only to lance down and pelt the animals scaled back, ripping through the fleshy leather wings to no avail as the beasts wings unfurl and sweep forward. Every man at the front line is buffeted backwards by the mighty gale loosed by those wings and followed by the searing heat of its breath and flame mingled amidst the battlefield. Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes, Arngrim pulls himself from under several corpses and raises his blade in one hand. His eyes are wide, the pupils so small and focused, he yells at the top of his lungs, saying not a word but matching the dragon’s loud vocalizations. Those still alive mimic Arngrim’s scream and follow him in to a second rallied charge. Like a tidal wave of sparkling silver, the steel of all those weapons moving at once tear across the battlefield right back to impending doom, throwing themselves in to the fray while Arngrim rallies them in to greater attacks! 50% HEALTH: A loud CRAAACK! rings across the battlefield, accompanied by the Nidhogg’s roar of pain. It’s left wing falls to the ground, severed after multiple swings of Arngrim’s mighty Dragon Slayer sword. It took nearly an hour for the Berserker to climb the might dragon’s foreleg, even as the beast shook at him, tossed it’s body and swung it’s arm in attacks at the other members of the coalition’s forces. Seeing the dragon’s wing cut from it’s body makes your forces all raise in moral, cheering loudly enough to drown out the dragon’s pained screams. You shift your own weight and pour all of your might and spirit in to your own attacks, cutting at hewn flesh on the beasts wrist that had been exposed after hours of chopping and hacking from your armies weapons. Arngrim mounts the dragons other side, looking to cleave off the Dragon’s remaining wing. The Nidhogg redoubles its efforts to cast the man from it’s back, turning it’s head and breathing flames across to it’s flanks! A scream rolls off of the dragon’s back as Arngrim tumbles from the beasts side. You rush as fast as you can, between legs that could crush you with such ease as it’s done to many others. However before you can reach where you think Arngrim’s body would land, you see the man regain his balance in the air and plunge his sword in to the Nidhogg’s bicep! Once more a roar echo’s across the battlefield, Arngrim’s sword drawing a massive wound through the beasts muscles and scales at once, slowing his descent just enough that by the time his feet hit the ground, he only lands with enough force to topple him to his backside in a cloud of dust. You rush to Arngrim’s side, helping him up, but it seems he is unconscious. You think quickly, if your army were to see the great Berserker they would think him dead and the battle would quickly turn. Your draw your helmet off, throwing it aside and place Arngrim’s helm on your head, and then grip the massive pommel of the Dragon Slayer, drawing it from the ground and posing as Arngrim. 25% HEALTH: Your ruse has worked well, though you are not a Berserker as Arngrim, your more calculated attacks seem to focus your soldiers attacks as well. Swords, Axes, Spears, and many other weapons cleave at exposed flesh, soon dragging the beast off of its forelegs and forcing it to keep it’s head held high, stopping the jets of flame it spits. Its great groans of discomfort and pain help to spur your forces on the attack, creating more openings in its armor for weapons to drag through flesh and force more flow of blood from the creatures wounds. It seems bleeding the dragon has proven to be the most effective method of attack, a river of the blackish red blood flows over the hillside and down in to the valley where grass dies and rots rapidly. Suddenly, arms grab you and throw you back from an assault on the beasts neck, but before you can scream your anger, you see one of your soldiers skewered by the tipped tail of the Nidhogg, his chest punctured and mostly missing along with his stomach, but a smile of great pride is frozen on the mans face – he saved the great “Arngrim” in his mind, and you offer up a prayer to Odin to receive the man in the halls of Valhalla to feast with the All Father and his Godling children. You rise swiftly, and grip Dragon Slayer in both hands, holding it’s massive six foot long blade over your shoulder, and swing with all your might at the creatures thick neck. With all of your effort, the foot thick width of the sword bites through Nidhogg’s chest, just short of its neck and bouncing off of the collar bone… stuck fast in the wound, and as the massive beasts jerks back, the sword is wrenched from your hands and carried up higher than you can jump as the Dragon hauls itself to the stumps of its forelegs, balancing itself there to keep its neck from attack. A fresh jet of flames blasts down towards you and your forces at it’s front, you think – that you will soon join the man that saved your life. FINAL BLOW: A barrier of energy flashes over your head and the heads of all of your troops. Glowing, ghostly figures with spears and shields waver in to view slowly, all of them women. You rub your eyes, as do many of your soldiers. Valkyries, thousands of them, appear to protect your troops from the flames of the Nidhogg, their shields reflecting the powerful heat, Odin must truly be looking down on your forces for him to send his battle maidens. The one protecting you turns and bows her head before removing her winged helmet and smiling. She is a shapely woman, but built for battle, and yet – her voice is as lovely as a Dove’s singing. “Odin sends us to reclaim the Nidhogg, we can not slay it’s mortal body but he has given us permission to protect your forces so that you may kill it. Work now, with our Shield’s and Spear’s, we shall guide you to its heart.” She says and turns her back to you. Her Shield raise high and her Spear lowered to breast level, tucking the pole under her arm and against her elbow. She charges straight forward, dancing in to the air and retrieving Dragon Slayer from it’s position on the beasts collar. You rush towards the blade as it falls from hundreds of feet in the air, once it lands in the ground, your hands grasp the pommel tightly. The Valkyrie army at your side all stand with a soldier, raising their shields each time the dragon breaths fire and protects them from the scorching heat. Your own Valkyrie descends and calls to you “I am Hrist, Chooser of the Slain, your time is not now. Follow my lead to the Wyrm’s heart and slay it now!” Unable to resist the call to arms, you follow Hrist as she moves past the forelegs. You can’t conceive why you would run past it’s chest where all hearts lay, but she calls to you once more and points to a spot on the Nidhogg’s lower belly. “Strike there, it’s heart is dark and black, it does not rest in the house Odin crafted for man.” You understand now, Nidhogg was born before Odin took the throne. You charge once more, letting out a blood curdling scream that sounded just as Angrim’s would, and drive Dragon Slayer in to the scaled flesh of the Dragon’s belly, just in front of the left hind legs thigh. A gurgling noise echo’s from the Dragon’s throat and muzzle, blood spewing from it’s maw. The massive frame of that Dragon staggers, waves, and then begins to fall to its left. Your army retreats, running from the corpse falling towards the blooded field of battle. A handful of the men do not escape the crushing force of the Wyrm’s figure, and they are soon risen by the Valkyrie’s that had stood with them. You turn to look for Hrist, but she is rising up from the ground with her fellow Maiden’s, the souls of all those fallen raise with them slowly, and you spot the man who saved your life – paused before you. “You may not be Arngrim, I see that now, but you may as well be him the way you fought. I would follow you anywhere, and I would save your life again given the chance. I wish you well my friend, and we shall feast together on Mead and Meat in the halls of Valhalla some day. But not this day, carry on my Chief.” His words fade just as he does as well, along with the Valkyrie’s and their chosen dead. ~ Allester Darkflame
But... I don't play Pirate Clan... I have very limited knowledge on pirates at all. *laughs* Except Space Pirate's in my book I'm working on... but that's more my own thing, and not someone else's game design with a plot in mind - not to mention, they are Archaic pirates, not Technologically advanced pirates. =^^=
I liked it a lot, you have an amazing talent, but I think its a bit long for a game story board, but the idea is still a good one.
We have been discussing this internally a fair bit, I am a big proponent of story and lore for our games. I am happy to see community support for the concept.
Heh, did you scroll down the 1st page and see the sample Fight with the Nidhogg? I would be happy to write the stories for you folks, all I'd ask for is the Recognition as the one who did the story.
Thank you very much, but honestly I'm a little irritated with the story. Feel like I didn't add enough detail to the battlefield, or the army, or the carnage of the fight... a lot is missing from it that takes away from the story in my own opinion.
You uhh... might be waiting awhile. I'm incredibly critical about my Books chapters, that I keep going back and editing sections rather than advancing... It's been in the works for... *counts* nine years now and only got 5 chapters done - but a lot of info. Here, check it out (it has the 1st chapter posted as a teaser) www.angelfire.com/rpg2/arison/main.html yeah yeah yeah it's Angelfire/lycos, but it's FREE!
I must say, Allester, I'm impressed. I do think it's a little wordy for a story board, but I think it's a great idea, and you are very creative (more so than me by far, which is why I like these "point-and-click" games, they don't require too much thought from me). I gave it a 10!
